Crisis of Meaning

Our identity is based on the deeper meaning we find in our life. Meaning comes from examining your own beliefs and core values to learn what is important to you.

When speaking of meaning and identity, it is indispensable to understand that the principle of meaning is found in the purpose of any act or sequence of acts. Whether we are driving to the grocery store or whether we try to see the entire largely unknown course of our lives stretch before us, no action or actions make sense unless they are aimed at a destination. 

It defines how we fit into the world and determines what our role (purpose) is. When our identity is threatened, so are our beliefs, value systems, and motivations.

Identity = Habits

When one’s identity is threatened, we lose motivation in our daily lives. Losing motivation leads to not living out our perceived identity which makes us feel hopeless and despair and in turn starts a snowball effect of shame and bad habits. 

Finding oneself in this predicament can feel like a challenging spot to climb out of. However, if we can realize the correlation between identity, meaning, and habits, we can use it to our advantage. 

There are no good or bad habits, there are only effective habits. Upon thorough and honest reflection of our behaviors, we can begin to understand what and how to change. From James Clear: “The more automatic a behavior becomes, the less likely we are to consciously think about it. And when we’ve done something a thousand times before, we begin to overlook things. Many of our failures in performance are largely attributable to a lack of self-awareness.”

Binge-eating candy at night reduces stress momentarily, and that’s how it’s serving me. But it's not a healthy long-term behavior. All habits serve us in one way or another, which is why we repeat them. However, to become your ideal self, one must illuminate and gradually eliminate the behaviors that conflict with one’s values. To aid in this process, Clear has outlined a tool called “the habit scorecard”. It is a simple exercise to help us become more aware of our patterns. 

First, you create a list of habits, being as detailed as possible. Next, put a + for an effective habit, an = for a neutral habit, and a – for a non-effective habit. Keep in mind, the same habit could be a negative behavior for some and a positive behavior for others. It all depends on what you are trying to achieve and who you want to be. 

Sadie’s Morning Routine

• Wake up +
• Scroll on Instagram -
• Feed the cat +
• Make and drink coffee =
• Take a shower +
• Brush teeth +
• Get dressed +

As I scored my habits, I asked myself: Does this behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity? Habits that reinforce your desired identity are usually good, and habits that conflict with your desired identity, naturally, tend to be bad. The first step to changing non-effective habits is to simply become aware of them. 

Your identity shapes your habits, and your habits shape your identity. 

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when your habit becomes part of your identity. You start a habit because of motivation, but you stick with a habit because of identity.

So, how do we form an identity-based habit? It's a two-step process:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be. Ask yourself: What do you want to stand for? What are your principles and values? Who do you wish to become?
2. Prove it to yourself with little steps and small wins. Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results. 

Most people set goals — for example, running a marathon. The problem with this type of outcome-oriented habit is that once the person has run the marathon, they usually have no reason (motivation) to continue the desired behavior. The goal should really be to become a runner. Whether that process looks like running for 2 minutes every day or running a couple of miles three times a week, once the habit is part of our identity, it is sustainable (as is the motivation).

When doing the activity makes you feel like the type of person you want to be, the habit is not a finishing line but a lifestyle. This is why even if you are meeting your goals, developing systems is generally much more effective.

We are constantly balancing the emotional experience of being alive against the need for definition, purpose, and meaning. We stand a better chance to sustainably identify ourselves when it’s backed by systems and effective habits.